New years every year brings so much hope to so many people. This is the time we think of giving up bad habits and making a fresh start. Most people take a fresh step with a good intention, only to find themselves slipping back to their old habits very quickly.
The reason for this is because such efforts are not supported by a bigger purpose. The reason for this is because such efforts are not done with the enlistment of the deeper subconscious mind. The reason for this is because such efforts do not have a disciplined approach.
Given below are a few simple steps that can help you to gear up for an amazing 2014.
I had the fortune of meeting a Managing Director [MD] of a large group of companies many years ago and about a year ago, over a dinner he was sharing some of the challenges faced by his organizations. Since organizational challenges excites me and gets my creative juices flowing I guided him with some initial steps to over come them.
Later on he had requested me for a proposal to carry out a culture transformation in his organization. After having given the proposal we were not able to formalize an assignment as various challenges were coming our way.
Firstly he wanted to hire an experienced CEO for the organization and that took time. However I continue to guide him and was also giving him guidance in the process. Later on once the new CEO was hired, he had his own viewpoints about bringing in an external consultant and our assignment further delayed.
When I feel blessed about what I have achieved my mind automatically takes me to people and events that I am grateful about. Whilst having a deep sense of gratitude to my parents, family, friends and social contacts, one major aspect that made the difference to me is my Alma Mater St Anthony’s College Katugastota in the hill capital of Sri Lanka.
One can’t ask for a better place than St Anthony’s to shape up a young mind and body to become prepared to take on the world. I believe great products from college would have felt the same. Beneficiaries of our alma mater are old Antonians of the calibre of Sir William Gopallawa, the first President of Sri Lanka, Mr. T B Illangaratne, renowned politician and dramatist, Justice Asoka De Silva, World famous professionals such as Prof. Malik Peiries, Dr Patrick Nugawela, Dr C. R. Panabokke, Prof C Suriyakumaran, World class sportsmen such as Mr. Muthaiah Muralitharan, Entrepreneurs such as Mr. Sumal Perera & Dr Lawrence Perera, Musicians such as Mr. Rookantha Gunatilleke & Mr. Stanley Peiris, Military officers such as Colonel A C Lafir and hundreds of other Ministers, Officers of the armed forces and police, academics and business people.
As I look back with an attitude of gratitude to St Anthony’s, I get a deep urge within me to do what I can to help the college continue to do the good work it has done for me. This was further reinforced when I was honoured as one of the top 100 Old Antonians during the 150-year celebrations of the college. Therefore when the opportunity came for me to be a part of the Antonian Rugby Trust, I was delighted to take it; I continue to serve in the advisory committee. I also had the privilege of providing mental toughness training to the rugby team.
The motivations of different people are different. Some do it for the gratitude, some do it for the glory, some do it for social status and others do it to develop business networks. When the motives are different there is bound to be conflict. Such conflict can make those who do things with nobel motives disgruntled. When this happens some feel like walking away, minding there own business and not doing anything for the college and some others decide to persist. I always believe such obstacles helps us to further develop our goodness. Such opportunities help us to help others to become better people. Such opportunities strengthen our resolve to be more generous.
We all belong to various religions and philosophies and we learn the need to give back to the world, do good to others and do our part to make the world a better place. When we split due to differences we lose the opportunity to accumulate goodness credits. On the other hand when like minded people like us who have walked the nooks and corners of the college, who have sat in the same class rooms, who have listened to the same teachers and who have sung our college anthem proudly gets together we can do wonders. So lets get together re-energize ourselves with nostalgia and do what we can do to uplift the standards of our alma mater so that we can celebrate the successes from a far and accumulate stories of before, during and after our time to tell our children and grandchildren.
The Motto of our alma mater ‘Lux De Coelo’ means light from heaven and was taken from a prayer sent from the Vatican when college was inaugurated. I consider this true when it comes to my life. So let the light from heaven that has brightened our being continue to shine in us, our families and the generations of Antonians to come. May god bless you all.
In my ‘Self Mastery’ trainings I teach the importance of a balanced life for success of happiness. It is important to have a balance in caring for our being, body, brain, people, time and money and growing all these areas simultaneously. While I was sharing this good advice at my trainings and practicing them to a great extent, I always felt there was more room for improvement.
I always believe we get the required knowledge and inspiration when we are open to it. I was fortunate to meet up with a friend of mine Nalaka Hewamadduma who had migrated to Canada, when he made a visit to Sri Lanka many months ago. He gifted me a copy of his new book ‘Art of Well-being’ when we met.
Nalaka and I had many things in common and we were both interested in enhancing human performance. While Nalaka helped people to become successful using eastern philosophies such as yoga and other wellness methods, I used more western leadership and self-mastery philosophies, Neuro Linguistic programming and Transformational learning.
Nalaka’s book is well written. It is easy to read due to his story approach and the descriptions are practical and inspiring. While I was following exercise, rest and nutritional habits, the big take away for me was how to adjust our lives to be in sync with the universal energy system. This was not a new concept to me but Nalaka’s book helped me discover a simple method of putting it in to practice and reminded me of the importance of it.
Family units, social infrastructure [such as our places of worship, schools, mass media and social networks] is set up to develop our children to be great assets to our world. These institutions help our children gain the right attitudes, beliefs, behaviours, values, knowledge and skills. We are who we are because of the sacrifices made by so many who have touched our lives and I am ever-grateful to them.
When I first attended the personal transformation ‘playshop’ Mastery of Self [MS] through Neuro Linguistic Programming [NLP] I was amazed at the tools that are available to unleash our god-given potential in a balanced systematic and purposeful manner. While I got so much out of it to make my life a success from that programme, I felt I should have attended this programme when I was leaving school or even during school.
Watching Malala Yousofzai speaking at the UN on her 16th birthday about a year after she was shot on the head and neck by the Taliban, motivated me to write this blog on Courage.
While her entire speech was inspiring and can be watched in the embedded video, I would like to quote the following part to illuminate this blog;
“Dear brothers and sisters; do remember one thing. Malala day is not my day. Today is the day of every woman, every boy and every girl who have raised their voice for their rights. There are hundreds of human rights activists and social workers who are not only speaking for human rights, but who are struggling to achieve their goals of education, peace and equality. Thousands of people have been killed by the terrorists and millions have been injured. I am just one of them.
So here I stand… one girl among many. I speak – not for myself, but for all girls and boys. I raise up my voice – not so that I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard. Those who have fought for their rights: Their right to live in peace. Their right to be treated with dignity. Their right to equality of opportunity. Their right to be educated.
Dear Friends, on the 9th of October 2012, the Taliban shot me on the left side of my forehead. They shot my friends too. They thought that the bullets would silence us. But they failed. And then, out of that silence came, thousands of voices. The terrorists thought that they would change our aims and stop our ambitions but nothing changed in my life except this: Weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born.”
Ignacy J. Paderewski – Image credit: en.wikipedia.org
Herbert Hoover – Image credits: old-picture.com
I recently received an email from a friend that had an inspiring story. On researching the story for authenticity I had to do a few amendments to it to make it more factual. An article by General Edward L. Rowny confirms the authenticity of the meeting of the two great men featured in the story. While I cannot confirm the authenticity of the details of the story the overall event is factual and worth sharing.
A young, 18 year old student and a friend of his decided to host a musical concert in Stanford University in 1892 to raise money for a worthy cause.
They reached out to the great pianist Ignacy J. Paderewski. His manager demanded a guaranteed fee of $2,000 for the piano recital. A deal was struck. And the boys began to work to make the concert a success.
I was moved by the ‘Empathy’ video on ‘YouTube’ [see the embedded video]. This is a video every health care provider, be it a medical practitioner or non-medical practitioner must watch. The CEO of Cleveland Clinic, Ohio, USA, Dr. Toby Cosgrove, MD, showed this video during his 2012 state of the clinic address.
Dr. Cosgrove, who I had the fortune of meeting during a 2 week intense healthcare leadership course I attended in this magnificent hospital in April 2013 says; Patient care is more than just healing – it is building a connection that encompasses mind, body and soul. If you stand in someone else’s shoes, hear what they hear, see what they see, feel what they feel, would you treat them differently?
Anger is one of the most common negative behaviours in human beings. Anger makes people act in an irrational manner. And therefore anger causes tremendous amounts of unnecessary destruction. Many who are connected with me have asked me how to manage anger. While I teach many tools on how to manage anger in my learning experiences and in my books, I felt this is an issue where many people need help and I need to find faster methods of reaching more people, hence this blog post.
Firstly we must realize that anger is a behaviour we learn and therefore it is not something permanent in us. We learn new behaviours when we see benefits in such behaviours. Therefore for example at a tender age when we observe our dad getting angry and everyone else doing as per his demands in an attempt to make him calm down, we learn that anger has the power of controlling and we quickly learn to use anger as a tool ourselves.
I first heard the saying; ‘Jack of all trades, is a master of none’ from my dad. While I took this as face value and later felt it is valuable mindset to have, I now wonder if this is true or false. On one hand it is humanly possible to be the best in all trades as there are millions of them. We would not have the time to master everything in a lifetime or just even explore them. Anyway I don’t think this statement suggests that anyone attempts to be a master of all trades.
We also don’t have the time in our lifetime to be a Jack-of-all-trades as well. But what do you think the original writer meant by the use of the word Jack. If it is the Jack from the pack of cards, then we are referring to the person who does all the work for the King and Queen. Therefore, by doing all the tasks required he learns many things, but will he ever be the master of any of those subjects.
Recounting my experience, I was in the collage rugby, athletic and chess teams. I was also a Boy Scout and I studied the subjects required to be an engineer. I believe I excelled in the engineering class when I lead a team of my classmates to make a electronic scale in the late 70’s. While it was very primitive and shabby we believe it was one of the first such attempts in Sri Lanka. It was viewed by the then President of the country J R Jayawardena and a later Prime Minister Ranil Wickremasinghe.
New years every year brings so much hope to so many people. This is the time we think of giving up bad habits and making a fresh start. Most people take a fresh step with a good intention, only to find themselves slipping back to their old habits very quickly.
Ranjan De Silva 