When Purposes Clash in Families – Purpose of Living – Part 24

When purposes clash
Image credit: http://www.keyministry.org a caption

Have you ever had a situation where you have a purpose different to the purpose of a family member, such as a spouse, parent, sibling or child? Has this situation led to misunderstandings, arguments, anger, violence or estrangement? How did you handle the situation? Has it made you become disgruntled about the notion of ‘purposeful living’. I will try to address this issue in this blog post from the limited experience I have had in dealing with such situations.

Recently I had the opportunity of counselling a couple who were facing such a situation;  the husband is a successful chief executive of a company and the wife is a senior manager in a bank. They have two adorable children. The family is financially sound with means of passive income. The husband was very caring to the family and they were always happy. The wife had always been supportive of the husband, specially in the early days of their marriage when he was struggling to move up the corporate ladder, while caring for the children. Continue reading “When Purposes Clash in Families – Purpose of Living – Part 24”

Finding Purpose in giving – Purpose of Living – Part 23

purpose in giving - jan 19
Image credit: http://www.stapostle.org

It’s interesting that the month of January 2019 was a month where I did as much free work as paid work. The first free assignment was to provide a keynote address at the new year celebration of a leading organisation in the insurance industry to inspire the staff of over 1000, who were gathered for the celebration, on the 1st of January. The second free assignment was to continue to help the administrators, parents and past pupils of my alma mater, St Anthony’s Collage, to take forward the strategic plan that I facilitated in formulating one year ago. The third free assignment was to help an important arm of the government of Sri Lanka to develop the leadership of a very important category of officials in becoming better leaders and making a better contribution for the development of the country. Continue reading “Finding Purpose in giving – Purpose of Living – Part 23”

Finding Purpose at Christmas – Purpose of Living – Part 22

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I wish you a Merry Christmas. In this season of Love, let’s give our love and kindness to all living beings with the intention of adding value to the process of life.

As I write this blog post, the first instalment of phase 3 of this series, on Christmas day, I feel it is appropriate to explore how we find purpose at Christmas. We explored the notion of purpose from various viewpoints in the first phase (ten blog posts) and then we attempted to understand the process of purposeful living in the second phase (eleven blog posts) of this series.  We now step in to the third phase of purposeful living that deals with practical aspects of living a purposeful life.

While a lot of effort goes in to dressing up for Christmas, in terms of our homes, our clothes, our social media pages and our websites, it would be appropriate to find out the purpose, reason or intention behind this dressing up? I believe purposeful living is being joyous, learning from our struggles, living with noble values and being of service to our world.

Perhaps the external dressing up can contribute to our joy to some extent if it is done within our means, in a manner that it does not make others feel deprived and in a manner, it does not harm our spiritual, emotional, intellectual, relational, physical, financial, ecological and social aspects of life. Another, perhaps more important aspect is the inner peace and joy we gain through prayer, mediation, giving and kindness to all living beings. While being of service to life, we may struggle, especially when we give from what is required to fulfil our basic needs, result in discomfort. But the joy derived from this is of another kind.

Perhaps this is the bigger reason behind Christmas. Finding a glimpse of our purpose or finding more clarity through real joy, struggles, sacrifice and being of service.

I will dedicate this new phase of this series on ‘purposefulness’ to address living issues and struggles related to purposeful living.

Wish you love, happiness and success through purposeful living this Christmas season.

Purpose of Living – Part 20: Learning & Growing as we Struggle to be Purposeful

struggle-has-purpose
Image Credits: Grouphigh.com

We explored the notion of purpose from various viewpoints in the first ten blog posts in this series. We then started making sense of our purpose in the next nine blog posts. I invite you to now reflect on the eighth aspect in the model of purposeful living– Learning & Growing; the bronze colour circle in the model. While this is the eighth circle, in real life it can happen anywhere in the nine circle process, it’s not necessarily chronological. Learning and growth that occurs due to an experience could make us feel fully alive and of service to the world and this can make us reflect and find purpose.

This blog post deals with learning and growing with the struggles we face as we attempt to live a purposeful life.  What I mean by attempting to live a purposeful life, it is about living with a set of values that can attract spiritual energy, it’s about looking after our health with good exercising, rest and consumption practices, it’s about building relationships by letting go of selfish motives, listening, understanding, respecting and becoming mutual, it is about building financial stability with healthy earning, saving and spending practices, it is about building intellect by reading and studying purpose related content and willing to let go of the interesting but not purposeful content. These require going in to discomfort as the body and mind is used to a different way of being.

After I had discovered the notion of ‘purpose’ and formulated the first cut of my purpose, I decided to look after my health by going to the gym regularly, eating nourishing food, giving up the consumption of alcohol and attempting to sleep at least for six hours a day. This resulted in struggles in the form of leaving office early and work piling up, attending cocktail parties with a glass of soda in hand, giving up some of the food I enjoyed and struggling to fall asleep. But after some time, I learnt how to delegate and this resulted in being able to leave office early to get to the gym, the body got used to the new way of eating, drinking and sleeping.  I started feeling healthier and more energetic. Therefore, the struggle had helped me to learn how to look after my health and grow in health during the process. I had similar experiences in my spirituality, relationships, finances and intellectual development.

It is also about taking risk such as changing jobs, starting relationships, migrating to a different city or country, starting a business etc., to be in line with our purpose that might be risky, sometimes resulting in struggles. I decided to leave a prestigious and financially secure position of director of a leading company in Sri Lanka and establish a company to represent Sensei International, who was providing organisational and personal transformation services, as it was in line with my ‘purpose’. The initial years resulted in struggles due to the need to continuously find assignments for financial sustenance, personal financial difficulties during dry spells, facing difficult audiences, needing to learn and skill up etc. resulting in very little time for family or self, damage to my ego, and the sacrifice of some comforts I was used to. However, these struggles helped build an organisation with a strong image and create the financial freedom, personal space and self-esteem to be able to give more time to my family and for myself.

A title of a book by Robert Schuller, Tough Times Never Lasts – Tough People Do, has helped me to go through these struggles, knowing that the tough times will pass. Principles that I have learnt, experienced and teach practically such as ‘focus on the process and the outcome will take care of itself’, ‘champions are comfortable when they are uncomfortable’, ‘the harder I work the luckier I become’, and ‘happiness is the willingness to be in the discomfort on behalf of growth’, has helped me to accept the struggles positively until I started experiencing the learning and growth they are designed to achieve.

I recommend you use your ‘purpose’ statement, when faced with struggles while attempting to live purposefully, to reflect on the learnings and growth provided by the experience. A first step would be to go back to some of the struggles you have experienced in the past and reflect on how they helped you learn and grow to be fit for purpose.

In case you have not established your purpose statement, I suggest you visit the 14thblog post in this seriesthat suggests a process to articulate your purpose statement. Keep building yourself and be fit for purpose so that you can say ‘yes’ to opportunities presented to you. What is important is to be in the process, and be relatively unconcerned about the outcome, which is part of a larger plan that we may not be privy to.

In the next blog post, we will explore the dark blue colour circle, ‘inspiring’ that explores aspects related to living in a manner that inspires others to live a purposeful life.

Meanwhile I wish you purposeful living!

Purpose of Living – Part 12: Making Sense of our purpose – the space

psychic energy
Image credits: http://getcontent.wordpress.com

We explored the notion of purpose from various viewpoints in the first ten blog posts in this series. We then started making sense of our purpose in the last blog post, the eleventh in the series. I invited you to explore a model of purposefulness that has been developed over the past three years of my doctoral studies. This is still work in progress and will continue to evolve in this year of writing my thesis and beyond.  However, I believe it has potential to help us make sense of our purpose because my professional practice over the past 20 years and my doctoral inquiry so far over the past three years has informed me of possible ways of making sense of our purpose.

The model as it stands now, presented in the previous (eleventh) blog post is based on the notion that our sense of purpose, that may evolve with life, is related to making a positive impact on the process of life using the talent, passion and compassion of each living being. I used the metaphor of the sun that provides us energy and inspiration, to explain purpose and the nine planets as the various aspects related to living purposefully. These aspects are related to each other through the space it resides in and I have a hunch that the space is the real thing. Continue reading “Purpose of Living – Part 12: Making Sense of our purpose – the space”