We live in a world that is more connected than ever before. Technology enables us to communicate instantly across continents, collaborate in real time, and access information at unprecedented speed. Yet many people feel increasingly disconnected from meaningful relationships and meaningful work. Organisations, too, face declining engagement, burnout, and growing challenges in retaining talent.
Perhaps one of the greatest leadership challenges of our time is not simply improving performance or strengthening relationships. It is learning how to cultivate both meaningful contribution and meaningful connection.
This is where purposefulness and empathy intersect.
Purposeful leadership extends beyond the self. Once the leader becomes purposeful, the natural next step is to help others, team members, and teams become purposeful. This is not a directive process but a deeply human one, rooted in example, empathy, and engagement. In this article, we explore the second branch of purposeful leadership: leading people purposefully.
Purposefulness in people is transformative. It improves their personal lives, relationships, health, and peace of mind, and this inevitably enhances their effectiveness and contribution at work. The workplace becomes more than a place of transaction; it becomes a space of meaning. Families benefit too, as individuals carry their sense of purpose home, influencing their roles as parents, partners, and community members.
I have experienced this transformation personally. At the age of 27, I had climbed the corporate ladder rapidly to become a director of two subsidiaries of John Keells Holdings, Sri Lanka’s leading conglomerate. At the time, I was driven by ambition and the goal of professional success. I worked long hours, including weekends, and neglected many aspects of my life. I was overweight, frequently ill and hospitalised, disconnected from my young family, absent from church, and unaware of the importance of developing and empowering my team. I had no sense of purpose, only a relentless pursuit of achievement.
Everything changed when I discovered the notion of purposefulness and wrote the draft of my first purpose statement. I began going to the gym, spending quality time with my family, returning to church, reading, cutting excessive costs, investing the savings, and cultivating emotional maturity through meditation. This personal transformation awakened a desire to help my team grow. I began teaching them about purposefulness and supporting their development. As a result, my quality of life and work improved significantly. It was no longer a choice between work and life; it became a commitment to both work and life, harmoniously.
My doctoral research reinforces this understanding. As I wrote in my thesis:
“My research suggests that being purposeful helps understand life from a more holistic and altruistic manner, leads one to conduct life with decent human values, helps make choices beneficial to the flourishing of life, improves caring for the well-being of family and self, and choosing vocations which are aligned with an evolving life-purpose. Adjusting one’s lifestyle in this manner takes courage, determination, and self-discipline. However, persisting with such an aspiration leads to an improvement in the quality of life, generating happiness which, in turn, encourages persisting in being purposeful.” (De Silva, 2024)
I invite you to reflect on how you are leading people. Are you helping them become purposeful? Are you creating conditions for their flourishing? If not, what needs to change?
You may explore literature from my blog http://www.ranjandesilva.blog, my website http://www.ranjandesilva.com, and other sources. Speak with your trusted advisor. We will further explore the notion of purposeful leadership and methods of transformation in the upcoming blog posts.
In the next article of this series, we will explore how to develop purposeful people leadership, how leaders can intentionally cultivate purposefulness in others through structured development, coaching, and empowerment.
References
De Silva, R. L. G. (2024). Living Purposefully: An Inquiry into the Life of a Leadership Development Practitioner. (Doctoral dissertation, Hult Ashridge).
In the last post, we explored how to develop purposeful self-leadership by articulating a purpose statement and taking small, meaningful steps to live in alignment with it. While this process is deeply enriching, it is not without its challenges. In this post, we explore the complexities of attempting to enact purposeful self-leadership in our lives (De Silva, 2024).
Understanding the Notion of Self-Leadership
The idea of self-leadership is inspiring. It suggests that we can take charge of our lives, lead ourselves with clarity and conviction, and live in alignment with our purpose. However, understanding this notion deeply can be complex. Many mix purpose with goals when in fact it is not. A goal becomes more meaningful when it is based on a purpose. It requires us to accept responsibility for our thoughts, emotions, and actions—something that can feel both empowering and intimidating. The concept may seem abstract or idealistic, especially when life feels uncertain or overwhelming.
Purposeful leadership starts with the purposefulness of the individual holding the leadership role. How can a purposeless individual help people and organisations to be purposeful? I am not claiming that all leaders are purposeful self-leaders. Many are not, and as a result, the people and businesses are not purposeful. In this article, we explore the notion of purposeful self-leadership. Given the need to keep these articles short, we will explore how to develop purposeful self-leadership and the complexities of such an aspiration in subsequent articles. In the first two articles of this series, we explored the two keywords of the concept of purposeful leadership: purposefulness and leadership and the three branches of purposeful leadership: self, people and organisations.
A useful question to ask at the outset is what is purposefulness and how do we know we are purposeful?
“The first principles of value that we need to rediscover is this: that all really hinges on moral foundations. In other words, that this is a moral universe, and that there are moral laws of the universe just as abiding as the physical laws” – Marting Lucher King Jr.
The importance of value for organisational and personal purpose came into my radar about 25 years ago when I was in the mid thirties in age. I have incorporated this notion in my leadership development practice in developing leaders and helping them transform organisations. As I started inquiring in to this notion as a part of my doctoral studies a few years ago, having learnt to look at things critically from different paradigms, I realised the complexity of the notion of ‘values’.
Many things have been written about the impact of the pandemic, positive and negative. I have reflected on the pandemic from various view points in my blog posts over the past 10 months. I choose to share one aspect of the pandemic, decluttering my life.
I had developed the habit of filling all documents such as bank statements, a habit I learnt from my father. This was way before personal computers entered our life. Once computers arrived I was used to storing all files I created and received as well as emails that I thought would be required I the future. This habit started when I started working in 1982 and has been going on for the past 38 years.
This years Christmas present from my eldest daughter – a symbol of abundance & purpose
My new year’s message last year was ‘I wish you a new year and new decade overflowing with abundance & purposefulness’. Having gone through perhaps the most ‘interesting’ year of our life, I wonder if this wish had an impact or not. I suppose it depends on how we look at 2020. While many of us had challenges in our jobs, businesses, finances, relationships and health, it is important to reflect on and find the hidden gifts.
When I first read these lines in the ‘Road Less Travelled’ by M.Scott Peck, quoted from the original writings of Khalil Gibran, I was confused. What are you saying? My children are my children, I gave birth to them and I did what it takes to grow them in to purposeful adults. However, after listening to it and reflecting on it, I realised how profound these words were. I have created a video with these words of wisdom as you see embedded in this blog. I recommend you watch and listen to the words in the video, reflect on it and then read the rest of the blog.
I believe the impact this video creates is different from person to person. I also believe the impact this video creates for you is determined by the journey of your life so far, where you are in your life now and your aspirations for the journey ahead. Therefore I feel the best contribution I can make is to write about what this poem means to me. Perhaps that might give you another perspective for you to reflect on, perhaps nourish your perspective and move you on to further reflection.
Do you really know who you are? Well, I am still discovering who I am and I am not sure if I will ever find the answer. However, everyday I live with this question in my mind, I see a little bit more of who I am.
I decided to take a break from social media, blogging, tweeting and newsletter writing during October. This is partly to allow my mind to settle down and rest after the extensive online work done in the past 6 months from April to September. It is also due to my calendar getting filled with corporate sessions for clients in UAE, Africa, Solomon Islands. Bangladesh and Sri Lanka.
On the personal side, it was my second daughter’s wedding which gave us a lot of joy and I needed to release myself from work for this important life event. We also had two other wedding anniversaries and four birthdays in the family during the month. It looks like October (my birth month) is becoming a month of family celebrations and this perhaps would be the month I take time off from work in the years to come.
An amazing perforce that stunned the audience and judges at Britains Got Talent.
Reflection Guide:
As you watch this video, think of the times that you have pre-judged someone by your initial perception. How many time have they surprised you with the real substance in them. Reflect on times that you had been in the receiving end. What learnings do you take from the reflection and what steps would you take to change your attitude and help other change their attitude.
As you listen to this song, reflect on those who raised you up so that you can stand on mountains and walk on stormy seas, specially during times of troubles and heart burn with an attitude of gratitude.
Lyrics
When I am down, and, oh, my soul, so weary When troubles come, and my heart burdened be Then, I am still and wait here in the silence Until you come and sit awhile with me
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains You raise me up to walk on stormy seas I am strong when I am on your shoulders You raise me up to more than I can be
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains You raise me up to walk on stormy seas I am strong when I am on your shoulders You raise me up to more than I can be
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains You raise me up to walk on stormy seas I am strong when I…
As you listen to this poem, reflect on the wonders of nature and let it heal your pensive mood or broken heart.
I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o’er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
The place which developed thousands of boys to be men of stature for over 165 year, the place I had the good fortune of being nurtured, St Anthony’s Collage in Kandy, the hill capital of Sri Lanka. The picture speaks of the nurturing location on the banks of the Mahaweli river, the space provided for sports signifying the importance of the development of the body in addition to the mind. To write about the great men produced by St Anthony’s will take a few books. All I have is gratitude for my alma mater.
In the last 8 blog posts in the ‘purpose quest series’, we explored how the pandemic impacted eight important pillars for purposeful living; spiritual, mental, emotional, relational, physical (health), financial, environmental and societal. Let’s explore the ninth pillar, the ‘temporal’ aspect in this blog post. As in the past eight blog posts let me attempt to describe my personal experience during the pandemic.
The word ‘Temporal’ has two broad applications; relating to worldly as opposed to spiritual affairs (secular) and relating to time. I use the word in relation to the use of time. The temporal aspect of purposeful relates to the use of limited time. The purposeful person attempts to utilise most of the time for purposeful activity, which requires letting go of non-purposeful activity.
The last eight weekly blog posts in the ‘purposeful quest’ series illustrated how my time was allocated to purposeful activity in spiritual, mental, emotional, relational, physical (health), financial, ecological and temporal areas. These activities took most of my waking time and there was rarely any time remaining for non-purposeful activity during the approximately 16 hours of waking time.
The sense I make from this reflection is that the pandemic gave me so much opportunities to be purposeful, that it left me with almost no time for non-purposeful activities. This way of life has kept me occupied in meaningful and energising activity, giving me inner success, happiness and peace. My purpose is to inspire others to live a purposeful life and I hope this series of blog posts will inspire you too to live a purposeful life and find Success happiness and peace.
Reflect on the deeper meaning of this poem as you listen to it and read the lyrics below. How did you respond to trouble times? What did you do when you fell down? What is real success & failure? How would you face life’s challenges from now onwards?
Read by Shane Morris – Full Poem:
Did you tackle that trouble that came your way
With a resolute heart and cheerful?
Or hide your face from the light of day
With a craven soul and fearful?
Oh, a trouble’s a ton, or a trouble’s an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it,
And it isn’t the fact that you’re hurt that counts,
But only how did you take it?
You are beaten to earth?
Well, well, what’s that!Come up with a smiling face.
It’s nothing against you to fall down flat,
But to lie there-that’s disgrace.
The harder you’re thrown, why the higher you bounce
Can empathy be developed or Liberated? As you watch this video, reflect on this questions. Consider how important empathy is for leadership success. Is there an ideal amount of empathy? Could empathy be too much or two little? What steps would you take to liberate the ideal amount of empathy from within you for your leadership success.
The following process can be used to create a learning experience for your team using this video.
Step 1 – A moderator (an expert from your company) to open the session, explaining the importance of the session.
Step 2 – Show the video – let participants absorb, take notes and write down questions to ask later
Step 3 – Have a Q&A session and a discussion
Step 4 – Agree on actions to be taken based on the video
Step 5 – Participants to say how the session was useful.
What does this picture arouse inside you? Reflect on how blessed we are. Reflect on what we can do to give a little bit from the much we have to make a difference.
Something Inside So Strong – Lewisham And Greenwich NHS Choir
As you listen to this powerful song, let the strength inside you awaken and fight against the odds so that your bright light will blind the darkness.
Lyrics
The higher you build your barriers The taller I become The further you take my rights away The faster I will run You can deny me, you can decide To turn your face away No matter ’cause there’sSomething inside so strong I know that I can make it Though you’re doing me wrong, so wrong You thought that my pride was gone, oh no There’s something inside so strong Oh, something inside so strongThe more you refuse to hear my voice (ooh-weh ooh-weh ooh-weh ooh-weh) The louder I will sing You hide behind walls of Jericho (ooh-weh ooh-weh ooh-weh ooh-weh) Your lies will come tumbling Deny my place in time, you squander wealth that’s mine My light will shine so brightly it will blind you Because there’sSomething inside so strong, strong I know that I can make it Though…
Reflect on the deeper meaning of this poem as you listen to it and read the lyrics below. Who is the captain of your life? How will you live to be able to be happy on your last day feeling that that you lived it all.
O Captain, my Captain our fearful trip is done The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won The port is near, the bells I hear, the people are exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring But O heart! heart! heart! O the bleeding drops of red, Where on the deck my Captain lies, Fallen cold and dead.
O Captain, my Captain (x3)
O Captain, my Captain rise up and hear the bells Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding For you they call (the swaying mass) their eager faces turning (their eager faces turning) Here Captain! dear father! This arm beneath your head It is some dream that on the deck, You’ve fallen cold and dead. Dead.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with this object won Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells! But I, with mournful tread, Walk the deck my Captain lies, Fallen cold and dead. Fallen cold and dead.
As you listen to this beautiful song reflect on how you can use your heart, the hunter to fight off hatred and help find peace and happiness in your little world, thereby creating ripples to make this world a better place.
Lyrics
For all of the times that you’ve wondered why The world turned out this way And all of the times that you’ve asked yourself About the games that people play.
About the politics of hunger And the politics of need, How the politics of power Seem to be the politics of greed.
For all of the times that you’ve struggled in an effort To work your way back up stream, And all of the times you’ve held on to it, When most of us had lost the dream.
And for all of the ones who have walked with you, By your side or way back home, Maybe much more than any of us You know that no one is really alone.
Because the heart is still a hunter, It’s like a beacon in the night. Though the heart is just a lover, It’s never afraid to fight.
Anne Hathaway Keynote Address International Women’s Day 2017
As you listen to this speech, reflect on how it speaks to your heart and mind. Is it about the rags to riches story? Is it about love? Is it about parenting? Is it about gender equality? Is it about speaking out on behalf of your concerns? Is it it about your sense of direction? Is it something else? Reflect on what matters to you and the baby steps you would take to make a difference.
As you listen to this powerful poem, let the words touch you deep inside so that you can wake up and turn your dreams in to reality. Reflect on the good thoughts you dream of, that goes to sleep when you wake up. Think of a baby step to take for you to live those dreams.
As you watch this video and listen to this beautiful song, Proud – By Heather Small (see lyrics below), reflect on the title things you do everything that makes you feel humbly proud about being in this world for a bigger purpose, to make this world a better place.
Lyrics
I look into the window of my mind Reflections of the fears I know I’ve left behind I step out of the ordinary, I can feel my soul ascending I am on my way, can’t stop me now and you can do the same, yeahWhat have you done today to make you feel proud? It’s never too late to try What have you done today to make you feel proud?You could be so many people If you make that break for freedom What have you done today to make you feel proud?Still so many answers I don’t know (There are so many answers) Realize that to question is how we grow (To question is to grow)So I step out of the ordinary I can feel my soul ascending I am on my way, can’t stop me now You can do the same, yeahWhat have you done today to make you feel proud? It’s never too late to try What…
Everything is Waiting for You – Poem by David Whyte
As you listen to this poem, reflect on the wonders of the world that we experience every day. Reflect on how we take them for granted or just don’t notice the wonder in them. Imagine if you pay attention. Everything is waiting for you, go experience all of it.
EVERYTHING IS WAITING FOR YOU – Words
Your great mistake is to act the drama as if you were alone. As if life were a progressive and cunning crime with no witness to the tiny hidden transgressions.
To feel abandoned is to deny the intimacy of your surroundings.
Surely, even you, at times, have felt the grand array; the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding out your solo voice. You must note the way the soap dish enables you, or the window latch grants you freedom.
Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
The stairs are your mentor of things to come, the doors have always been there to frighten you and invite you, and the tiny speaker in the phone is your dream-ladder to divinity.
Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into the conversation.
The kettle is singing even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots have left their arrogant aloofness and seen the good in you at last. All the birds and creatures of the world are unutterably themselves.
Think of one moment in time that you were more than you thought you could be. Reflect on it. Take in the feeling deep in to your heart and use it to create more such moments as you race with your destiny and find your real freedom.
Reflect on what you are seeking? Is it Love? Is so how True is that Love? Is it Money? If so how Truthfully can you earn it? Is it Fame? If so how do you know you truly deserve it? In all these three situation the question of Truth comes up. Therefore is it Truth that we ultimately seek?
Seven Ages of Man – Shakespeare (Powerful Life Poetry)
As you listen to this poem by William Shakespeare, reflect on the seven ages, where have you been, where are you, and what lies ahead. Has it been chronological journey or otherwise?
A picture from the interfaith conference in Sri Lanka a few years ago. The respect for each other and their views points gives hope to make this world a better place. Please reflect on a baby step you can take to create interfaith harmony in your own community, be it the neighbourhood, workplace, school, social organisation or any other organisation you are associated with.
As you listen to the words of this poem, closed eyed or watching the visuals of the visit of the South African Rugby team to Nelson Mandela’s prison (scene from the movie Invictus), reflect on your biggest struggle and how that helped you to realise that you are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.
This is the path that I must have walked a 5000 times for 10 years during my childhood. this is the path connecting to the rear entrance to my school, St Anthony’s college, Kandy. it was the last few steps in to school or the first few step returning home every morning or evening. It was the beginning or end of the two mile walk from or to home. This was the point where I started or ended another day or learning in the class room or on the sports field. If this picture can read my mind and talk, imagine the stories it will tell. This picture received yesterday from a friend in our school WhatsApp group created so much nostalgia. Thank you!
Empathy & Perspective, an inspirational Speech By Simon Sinek
Everyone can be a leader. Everyone don’t want to be a leader. Everyone don’t have to be a leader. You need to love your people to be a leader. As you listen to this inspirational speech, reflect on if you love being a leader. If not why not? What steps would you do?
A collection of Ranjan De Silva’s favourite poems recited by him with short introductions and debrief of each poem at an online Rotary meeting between Rotary Club of Colombo Reconnections Sri Lanka and Rotary Club of Nanganallaur, India.
As you listen to these poems reflect on what inspire you. Is it the selection, a particular poem, the themes, the words, the way they are recited, relevance to you, your mindset or anything else?
Reflect on the quote by John Lennon and ask yourself, Who do or did you want to be? Who are you being? Are you pursuing happiness? Where and how do you find happiness? I hope these reflections will help you understand life better and find the higher purpose of life.
A picture that speak of the pride and gratitude for a father. This is my father Stephen Richard Francis De Silva addressing a gathering of 500 plus buisness leaders of Sri Lanka after being presented the first copy of my first book in 2003. My mother Carmen Cordillia Maureen De Silva, who is a tower of strength for him and our family stands by during this beautiful moment as I look at my fathers performance with pride and gratitude. I pay tribute to him on his 16th death anniversary on the 5th of July.
Man in the Mirror Performed by Michael Jackson (with lyrics)
As you watch this performance listening to the words or reading the lyrics, reflect on who you see as you look at. yourself in the mirror. Reflect on the change you need to start making to prepare yourself to change the world.
Reflect on the value you put on simple things of life, those things we take for granted, things given to us free or we obtained cheaply. Look at such things from someone less fortunate than you. Would you see a different value? Perhaps thats heavens way of helping us see the proper price of goods. Feel the attitude of gratitude.
A picture that speaks of the notion of ‘Havingness’. The lady’s white dress and serene face show that she is totally in peace with herself. The background shows the abundance of the universe. The open arms depicts being open to welcome the the gifts of the universe. Havingness is an energy space we are capable of creating based on the notion and methods of ‘Releasing’ introduce by Lester Levenson.
Because you Loved me – song of gratitude by Celine Dion
As you listen to this song, reflect on those who helped you and are helping you grow to you your fullest potential. What kind of sacrifices did they make and are making? These could be your family, life partner, friends, teachers, colleagues. Is this person who helped you, your own self? Feel the emotions you experience as you listen to the song, each time with a different person in your life in mind, including yourself. Could you give a name to these actions ? Reflect on what you would do to pay forward?
The notion of Love is perhaps one of the most complex.
I like to define ‘love’ as the act of helping someone to grow to their fullest potential, even if it is inconvenient to me. Growing to our fullest potential starts with baby steps.
The potential of a seed is the fruit. The seed needs watering before it turn in to a plant. The plant needs water, air, sunlight and fertiliser to become the tree. The tree needs continuous nurturing to become the fruit. Converting the seed to a fruit requires help that is inconvenient to the nurturer. Continue reading “Loving is Purposeful Growth”→
How to Love and be loved – an inspirational Speech by Leo Buscaglia
As you listen to this multi-emotional speech, reflect on how you were loved and how you loved. What can you learn from Leo, the Doctor Love about love and living life to the fullest. What baby steps would you take today to Learn, Laugh, love and Leave a Legacy ?
As you listen to this short poem given to Leo Buscaglia by a Vietnamese Girl, think of the times you made a difference by understanding someone else and not reacting, even if the other person was responsible for it. Remember the pleasant surprise in the other person and the bond you created with each other. Or remember someone else who did this to you. My plea to you, make a promise to yourself to understand and respond with love, immediately it happens. The time is Now!
Reflection Guide
A picture that speak of the pride and gratitude for a father. This is my father Stephen Richard Francis De Silva addressing a gathering of 500 plus buisness leaders of Sri Lanka after being presented the first copy of my first book in 2003. My mother Carmen Cordillia Maureen De Silva, who is a tower of strength for him and our family stands by during this beautiful moment as I look at my fathers performance with pride and gratitude. I pay tribute to him on his 16th death anniversary on the 5th of July.
